The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Los Angeles party-, self-promoter Allison Mellnick opened the Apple Lounge on Thursday night in West Hollywood, telling the Los Angeles Times, "I'm not here to compete, I'm here to prove." I'm not sure what that means, but I am looking for signs of her native city -- New YORK City -- that Melnick seeks to channel with the Apple Lounge. The only seeming suggestion of early-1990s NYC is that the club is tiny, holding only 150 revelers. Suddenly it feels like 1995 again! (While we're in 1995, can 90% of the guests borrow your fake ID?) The soft opening attracted enough of Mellnick's sparkly friends -- Samantha Ronson DJ'ed -- to appease glitter-hungry photographers outside. Moths to flames follow.

The Good

I know you're not really pouting, Sam, and that's the face you show the photographers. And, Lindsey...oh, Lindsey! Your strawberry blond locks! Your pinup-girl cuteness! Your earth tone bronzer! (Clarins?) Everything about this is working. Working me, that is.


Actress Sara Payton clutches her...clutch, reflects on the evening's success.


The Bad

Metallic heels + eco-natural newsboy cap + sailor-inspired blouses + jeans do not one outfit make. It makes four outfits, here tragically superimposed onto one body.

The Shiny

There can just be no reason to look so grumpy when you were so funny-or-die just last week, Paris. Let the sun shine in, not just reflect off of your dress.


The Ugly

When you're Tila, you can pull off outfits intended for fourteen-year-olds...or, God knows who this outfit is intended for. This remains in the "ugly" category because we're not all Tila, and the rest of us have lessons to learn.